(This is not my mum, but you get the idea)
This morning was a good morning for my new book. I got about 2,000 words down before the day of fatherhood began and have also managed to rewrite a large chunk that was both reducing the urgency and horror of the book and also undermining the ending. But it was also a tough morning because of what I have been writing about.
My book is not simply about gore, blood and guts, as books with these things as a selling point by themselves simply don't interest me. Torture porn movies are in my eyes the soap opera of the horror world - shallow, lazy and detrimental to the genre. They are more of a "disgust" genre than horror. Horror should be about fear, with the unknown being the greatest weapon. Yet I have found it necessary to insert one or two violent scenes, to drive the story forwards and show the very real threat of some very human antagonists and also to provide a moral contrast. I feel myself becoming disgusted as I write the words, which hopefully shows they are having the right effect, but it's not easy. The worst part is... my mum will want to read this. I've already told her, time and time again that it's going to be a lot darker than The Binary Man, but still she want's to read everything I write. Part of me is considering writing a fake "vanilla" version especially for her, with comedy fisticuffs in place of raw, visceral combat. I know that would be pointless, as it always is when writing with self imposed restrictions. I just have to push through, write the best book I can and hope it holds together.
It's only the first draft and there is still scope for change, but I have a feeling there will still be a lot that makes the cut. I just have to hope that it works. A candle always looks brighter in total darkness.
I'm still not writing about sex though... not yet.