Today is mine and my wife’s seventh wedding anniversary.
The time seems to have flown past, though only when I think
of her. The rest of my life has been a long slog, day after day. I was thinking
about why that was, and I realised that it was because even though we have been
together for so long, there is still so much to learn about her. Even if she
told me all about her life, every day, there would still be thoughts and
feelings and events from her past that I would never know, grain upon grain,
building up into the bedrock of her life before we met. She’s a story I want to
know, a mystery that I want to unravel.
We don’t have the same tastes, not at all. Her taste in
music is the complete opposite to mine. Books? We both read quite a bit, but
different genres. Films, the same (though we can agree on comedies more than
others). Pass-times… well, let’s just say my nerdiness fills her with a boiling
disgust. There are cultural differences (she’s from Japan, I’m from the Black
Country. Yep, hers is better). We can’t always communicate everything in as
much depth as we’d want (though she is a far better linguist than I). So why am
I so happy?
It’s because she accepts all the differences, without a
single thought. She simply accepts me, big, clumsy, forgetful, daft Jake. If we
disagree, we compromise. She is never jealous. She never spies on me, nor I on
her. We trust each other implicitly. We also share the most important aspects
of our world views. We both value freedom, family, justice, security… and food.
Oh man, the food.
I didn’t have a second thought about proposing after nine
months of being together. Being with her was as comfortable as being alone, if
that makes sense. Despite the fact that I’m very sociable, it’s a learned
trait. I’m actually cripplingly shy. I find it hard to be 100% myself around
anyone, except her. I feel myself around her. I don’t hate myself around her.
She doesn’t mind that I’m a soft spongey man who wants
hugging more than she does, she will always be there for me. We can be silent
together, and not feel the need to fill the room with words. She has taught me
what it means to be a husband, and a father, and an adult (without having to
lose the edge of creative fun that childhood brings).
She’s in Japan right now, with my two lovely daughters, and
the fact only serves to make this anniversary all the more special. I’m now
experiencing life without her, and it is cold, depressing, and despite the fact
that I am seeing my family and friends more than I ever did when I was single,
I’m unbelievably lonely.
She’s my best friend. She’s my love. She’s my little pumpkin
seed.
I love you wifey.
(Please come home soon.)
